


Augury

by innerslytherin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2682623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innerslytherin/pseuds/innerslytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She dreamed of being someone more than a pureblood bride, and she pursued that life, in spite of the people hurt along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Augury

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** Thank you to [](http://severity-softly.livejournal.com/profile)[**severity_softly**](http://severity-softly.livejournal.com/)!  
>  **Song:** [A Murder of One](http://www.sendspace.com/file/6tro6d) by Counting Crows gave me the idea for this fic.

**_One for sorrow_ **

Eileen doesn't want to leave school.  She came here just after the war ended, when Hogwarts was a refuge, a stronghold, and the Head of Gryffindor House was the man responsible for defeating Grindelwald.  She has always sat straighter in Transfiguration, wanting to know the answers to every question Dumbledore asked.  After all, he is the hero of the Wizarding world, one of the most powerful men ever--and he always has a twinkle in his eye and a word of encouragement, even for Slytherins.

Everyone loves Dumbledore's classes, except for the Slytherins who are a part of Tom Riddle's gang.  But then, they aren't impressed with anyone.  Not even Slughorn impresses them; they just know how to use him to get what they want.

Eileen is a pureblood and rich, but she isn't pretty, and she knows it--she's too severe to be pretty, even when she does the shaping charms on her eyebrows and uses cosmetic spells to give herself some colour.  Tom never pays much attention to her, so she doesn't bother with them often.

All the same, Slughorn sometimes invites her to the small parties he gives.  She knows it isn't because she's the best Gobstones player in school, or because she is good at Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts.  It is because her father is a rich pureblood with a high Ministry appointment, and Slughorn likes knowing people of that sort.

Eileen doesn't care.  She goes to eat the crystallised pineapple and drink elf-made wine, and admire Tom Riddle from afar.

 

**_Two for mirth_ **

She meets Tobias the summer she turns twenty.  It is 1955 in York, where her family lives.  Eileen and her friends Jane and Maire, two Slytherins and a Ravenclaw but all Purebloods, are taking risks, playing at being bad girls by going to Muggle pubs and dance halls, listening to Robert Johnson and Elvis Presley instead of Celestina Warbeck and the Opaleye Orchestra.

Tobias knows all the words to all the songs on the jukebox, and he is always surrounded by a group of men.  Eileen is fascinated by him.  She likes the way his trousers fit, and her friends are scandalized when she says as much to them.  He doesn't hear, can't possibly hear, but when Maire gasps, he turns his gaze from the pool table to Eileen.  He smirks, his thin lips curling slowly, as if there is a joke only the two of them know.

Eileen wants to press her own lips to his, to taste his secrets.

 

**_Three for a wedding_ **

Her father isn't pleased that Eileen has fallen for a Muggle.  Love is a childish dream, he tells her; blood is what matters in a marriage.  Eileen's mother doesn't contradict him.  But later, when Eileen has finished shouting and stormed off to her room, slamming the door shut--later, Berniece Ollivander Prince creeps into her daughter's room and presses a purse into her hands; in it are eighty Galleons and a few Sickles--the savings of a forty-year marriage.

"It's worth more when you convert it into pounds," Berniece whispers.  "The Muggles use pretend money, so it goes farther."

Eileen wants to tell her mother she knows about Muggle pounds and it isn't pretend, exactly, but she's too grateful for this kindness.  And she feels sorry for her mother, too.  Witches don't get divorced, though the Muggles are doing so more often these days.  Berniece will be with Tiberius Prince until one of them dies.

"Thanks, Mum," Eileen says, and there is a flash of warmth between them as they hug.

Eileen packs her trunk as Berniece creeps back out.  By the time her mother is in the parlour again, Eileen has Apparated into an alley near Tobias' flat.  She goes into a pub to ring him.

"I've run away from home," she says.

"You've--what?"

"I've run away.  My father didn't approve of you, so I told him to naff off."

"Eileen!"

"I can't help it, I love you," she says, and she can almost hear Tobias melt across the phone lines.

"Right.  We'll elope.  We'll be married before they can take it away."

She smiles.

 

**_Four for a birth_ **

She has been dreaming of crows.

In her dream, she stands alone in a meadow.  There is a fence, but it isn't a forbidding fence, merely a dividing line between here and there.  Crows flap lazily to the fence and settle onto it, watching the world around them.

She knows the old rhyme about counting crows.  Her name is even derived from a Gaelic word meaning bird.  She tries to count them in her dream, but when she gets to four, they rise up from the fence with harsh caws.

Eileen turns in her sleep, her brows knit, her lips pursed.  Next to her, Tobias watches, frowning.

 

**_Five for laughing_ **

When Severus is four, she knows he will be a great wizard.  They are in the back garden, Eileen hanging out the laundry even though it never gets truly clean with all the soot in the air, Severus playing in the dirt.  She hasn't been paying much mind to what he is doing, because he's quiet, and that's so rare these days.  Ever since he began talking (late, especially for a witch's son), he doesn't shut up.

Suddenly he makes a delighted noise, attracting her attention.  She looks over at him and the white shirt she is pinning up flutters to the ground.  A huge rook is standing in the dirt before him, nearly as tall as her son.  Severus reaches down into the dirt and picks up nothing.  When he opens his hand before the rook, though, light glimmers from his palm.

The rook hops away, and Severus laughs.

 

**_Six for crying_ **

Tobias is frightened of the magic.  He tries not to be, but after ten years of marriage, Eileen knows him well enough to tell he is pretending.  She has been hiding that secret for a decade, after all, pretending her father is rich from the railway, never explaining she comes from a long line of pureblood wizards and witches.  It isn't, precisely, that she's ashamed; it's more that this world feels more real to her, now, because of Tobias and Severus.

But now that is all crashing down around her.

She knew it was coming, of course, ever since the day with Severus and the rook.  But now Severus has gone beyond conversations with birds; he has somehow shattered every mirror in the house.  It has something to do with the fact that he came home from school in tears over his nose, Eileen is sure.  The other children were teasing him about it, and it infuriates her.

Wizard's children don't have to go to private school; most of them are taught at home until they get their Hogwarts letter.  Eileen has decided she will take a step back from the Muggle world and do the same for Severus, since the children here are so cruel.

But educating Severus herself requires her to tell Tobias why, exactly, she wants to do that, and why she is qualified.  She thinks it over and realises that in a few short years she will have to tell Tobias the truth, or else lie to him about every aspect of Severus' schooling--and require Severus to do the same.  She decides to come clean now.

But Tobias has been sitting on the sofa, face in hand, for nearly ten minutes now, and she is afraid he will never forgive her for it.  When he finally looks up, there is fear in his eyes that breaks Eileen's heart.

"I'm still me," she says.  "I'm still your wife.  I still love you just as much as I ever did."

He shakes his head slowly, as if to clear it.  "Did you ever?  If you have magic, could you make me fall in love with you?"

_Lie_ , says a small voice in the back of her head.  But Eileen is afraid if she lies, and he finds out, it will be worse.

"I could," she says slowly.  "I never would, though.  I wanted you to love me truly."

"Then love potions and the like, they're real."  His voice doesn't sound convinced, but neither does it sound sceptical.  He is perfectly emotionless suddenly, and Eileen wonders if she really knows this man she has been sleeping beside for ten years.

"Yes--but not for me!"  She says it quickly, as if that will make it more true.  "I wouldn't do that, Toby!"

"No, I suppose not," he murmurs.

It sickens her that she is relieved by those words.

 

**_Seven for a secret_ **

When Tobias leaves, he takes almost everything.  He leaves Eileen her clothes and all of Severus' things.  He shudders as he passes the trunk that is still unpacked after Severus' first year at Hogwarts.

Tobias' things fit in fewer boxes than Eileen would have expected.  She wonders if he has ever been completely here, or if he has always had a part of himself that wasn't hers.

"Why's Papa leaving?" Severus asks.  "Will he be gone long?  Is he going far?"

Eileen has to swallow the pain in her throat and explain that Tobias is never coming back, that he is tired of living with Mommy.  But he loves Severus very much, yes he does.  He'll see Severus again soon.

Severus is content with this explanation for the first several weeks.  When Tobias still hasn't returned and it is time for Severus' second year at Hogwarts, he finally realises the truth: Tobias is never coming back.  He's tired of them _both_ , not just Mommy.

This is when Severus begins hating Muggles.

 

**_Eight for dying_ **

"I won't!" she screams, hating her father for being a bully and her mother for being weak.  "I won't do it!" She should have known better than to come to this place for succour, knowing her father.  He has stated that as a condition of his help, he requires Eileen to divorce her Muggle husband and marry a pureblood of Tiberius' choice.  She doesn't mind the idea of divorcing Tobias; it is the arranged marriage she resents, as if marriage is all a woman is good for.  This is 1973, and there are plenty of other options for a single woman.

"You'll do it or you'll be put out on the street like all the other Blood Traitor whores!" her father roars.  He is tall and looming, and Severus is in the corner, tears of fury in his eyes.  He has only met Tiberius one other time, when he was very small, and Tiberius made him cry that time, too.  Now Severus is thirteen, and too old to be crying, but Eileen knows that what will happen next is a hexing in revenge for the tears.  Severus hates his emotions, hates when he is forced to acknowledge them.  He hates to be seen as vulnerable.

And right on cue, her son lifts his wand.  She expects something simple--a stinging hex, a weakening jinx.  Instead Severus hisses, " _Sectumsempra_!" and blood erupts from her father's chest.

Berniece shrieks, lunging out of the chair she has been cowering in.  Eileen moves too slowly to catch Tiberius, but she leans forward, peering at him.  His face is twisted in agony as another cut opens in his flesh.

"What have you done to him?" Eileen demands, though inwardly she feels as satisfied as Severus looks.

"It's something I invented," Severus says smoothly.  Tiberius gives another shriek as the next cut bursts open like an overripe tomato.  "Do you think it's too simple?"

There is a small puddle of blood underneath Tiberius now, and Berniece looks confused.  She obviously doesn't want to come near him if he's dead, but she doesn’t want to help him, either.

"Severus, go upstairs at once!" Eileen orders.

"Don't you want the countercurse?" he asks, his voice lazy.  Eileen wants to slap that smirk off his face, though it isn't because he attacked her father, it's because he is acting as if he is superior to his mother and grandmother.

"What is it?" she snaps.

He half-chants, half-sings, a few words.  Then he turns and begins to leave the room.  A few steps from the door he turns.  "You have to do the wand motion, too, right over the wound."  He demonstrates, and Eileen realises that he hasn't healed Tiberius.

She isn't sure she minds.

As atonement for her son's cruel actions, Eileen agrees to marry the man.  She searches through tomes of Dark Arts until she finds the spells for barrenness.  They are mostly used against enemies, but she refuses to be used as a broodmare.  She makes herself barren, knowing she will be able to blame it on her new husband; after all, she has proven she can have a son.

 

**_Nine for silver_ **

Remus Lupin.  That is the name of the werewolf who tried to kill her boy.  Eileen hates him, though she knows she shouldn't.  She isn't supposed to know of this--Dumbledore explicitly asked Severus not to tell her, for which she resents the headmaster.  He has no right, she thinks, to ask a student to lie to his mother.  She shouldn't hate Lupin for the headmaster's errors, though, and she shouldn't hate him because her son is fascinated by him.

She does anyway.

She can tell, by the way Severus doesn't let the subject drop, that he is infatuated with the werewolf.  Of course he is--the boy is studious but popular, he is a Dark Creature, he has apologised to Severus and has made overtures of friendship in spite of his bullying friends.  Eileen hates the fact that someone--some _thing_ \--has come between her and her son.

Then again, her marriage to Erasmus Holyfeld probably hasn't helped matters, either.  Erasmus is only a few years older than Severus, a seventh year when Severus was a firstie.  Erasmus doesn't lift a hand against Eileen or her son, but he never misses a chance to needle his new stepson for any reason.  Eileen hates him, too.

But not as much as she hates Remus Lupin.

Severus probably doesn't realise how often he does it.  "Lupin's from Scotland, he actually showed up at the Leaving Feast in a kilt, can you believe?"  "Lupin didn't take Divination with his friends.  He says it's a load of rubbish.  He's in Ancient Runes with me, instead."  "Lupin can't even handle Sickles, can you imagine?"

Eileen recognises the signs of a developing crush, and she hates Remus Lupin for making her son queer, for trying to hurt her son, even if he only wanted to as a wolf.  She knows he will hurt Severus again, and perhaps this time Severus will not be rescued.

 

 

**_And ten for the devil's own sel'._ **

She stares down at the Dark Mark etched into her son's skin and thinks, _All your life has been a shame._   She is fairly certain she means the words for herself and not for Severus.

"Why would you do this?" she whispers.  "This Voldemort, he believes purebloods are the true natural rulers?  He believes the Muggles should be enslaved and the half-bloods--what, Severus?  What is your new Master going to do with the half-bloods?  _You_ are a half-blood, whether you like to remember it or not!  What will he do to you?"

"The Dark Lord is very forgiving, as long as his half-blood friends admit to their weakness," Severus murmurs.  He is clutching his arm just below the elbow.  Eileen can tell the Mark still hurts him.

"How _noble_ of him," she spits.  "How _gracious_!"

"Don't talk about him that way!" he flares.  "You don't understand me!  You've never understood me!  No one does except the Dark Lord!  Even Re--"

He cuts off, and she realises it has happened as she feared.  Remus Lupin has hurt her boy, and this is Severus' revenge--a revenge that will end up hurting him much more than it could ever hurt anyone else.

_My boy, my boy_ , she thinks.  _I wanted only to make your life easy and good and true, and you have taken it and made it difficult and wicked and full of deceit.  How can I protect you from yourself?_

She has failed him.  He has chosen the Darkness, and Eileen doesn't know what this means to her.  She is his mother.  She has to love him.  She can't imagine not loving him.  But she despises him in this instant.  She wants to hurt him, to cut the Mark from his skin, to perhaps beat some sense into him.

She has spent her adult life telling herself that she is more than a mother, she is more than a failed wife.  She has told herself she can brew potions well, that she can still flick a Gobstone further than any of her friends.  She had prided herself, for years, on marrying for love--and look where that got her.  She is trapped, trapped more truly than any of them, because she knows she is better than this--and yet she is still right here, unable to leave.

She remembers her dreams, remembers that she used to dream of crows.  She wonders if there is any of the old counting song left to her life, or if she has reached the end.  Will there be nothing, no change, for years and years to come?

She hates her life, she loathes her husband, she is afraid of her son. 

But what can she do?

"Our lives are wasted," she murmurs, and puts her face in her hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: There are many great crow rhymes at the following websites:  
> http://www.shades-of-night.com/aviary/rhyme.html  
> http://www.shades-of-night.com/aviary/counting.html  
> http://www.shades-of-night.com/aviary/folklore.html  
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_Magpie
> 
> Obviously I took the bits I wanted and left the rest.


End file.
